OSCILATING STEPS TO A CLOSED PAST
SIX PHASES FOR CLOSED PAST
FIRST PHASE: Overcoming Denial: Before all else, one must be honest with him or herself. One must first admit that the relationship was negative.
SECOND PHASE: Converting time alone into time for oneself: Being alone does not mean loneliness. If you do feel alone (lonely), it might be that you might be isolating yourself on purpose (not necessarily a negative event). The best thing to do is to use this time for cognitive restructuring and accept this experience as positive and plan new directions.
THIRD PHASE: Time for grief/sadness. (Adults also experience grief and/or sadness and or crying spells.) Write and/or describe all of the dreams for the future which you are saying goodbye to that part of the relationship. When you are finished ridding yourself of that future, describe all of the negative things which you are also leaving.
FOURTH PHASE: ANGER; Time to put some distance in between. Find an outlet to release that energy. Release everything that is inside. Protest against the injustices to facilitate releasing bitterness.
FITH PHASE: Start a new environment with new and healthy relationships which are substance free. Let the positive relationships build new events.
SIXTH PHASE: Time to look at the new future and have that run through the mind at all times. Think about what you want and find new ways of looking at it. Why? because what is on your mind is what will materialize.
REWRITTEN: COLORADO FAMILY
